WE DIDN'T HAVE A PROTEST SONG

A choir is reading-out the names of Belarusian political prisoners.  Performance documentation. Music by Gareth Davies “Echoes. ECLAT Festival. Voices from Belarus” at Kunstzentrum Karlskaserne, 2021

Feb 20, 2021
Anonymous (message to the chatbot Telegram)

I am always angry. I became more aggressive, and this behavior began to affect my family. I feel as if I might explode when I read about unfair trials and new repressions. However, I have no idea what this would lead to.


July 26, 2021
Tanya (message to the chatbot Telegram)

Over the course of 3 months, they knocked on my door 6 times. These visits usually ranged from early mornings to late evenings. Each time it was like this: someone aggressively knocked on the door and pulled the handle very hard. We rented an old apartment back then, people call these sorts of places “grandmas’ lounges.” The apartment was on the second floor, and my window overlooked the road. From the beginning of the elections, we had a white sheet of paper on this window. Our neighbor who lived right across from us was at home and heard that someone was banging on our door. She watched them through the peephole. I received her call right away. According to her, the man was tall, dressed in black, wearing a mask and a hood. I took off the white sheet from the window and began looking for a new place. We moved to another country a month later. The reasons for this vary. For another two months, I trembled at every rustle outside the door.


July 27, 2021
Alice (message to the chatbot Telegram)

Psychologists and psychotherapists suggest not denying yourself the right to feel fear. They say it's okay to be afraid. They advise you to allow yourself to feel these feelings.

After that, do not prohibit, and only limit the time for fear. As an example, I will be scared on Wednesdays from 6 to 8 o'clock. Allocate time for this, and most likely, at the end, you will forget what this time was meant for. Even if you don't forget, the fear will slowly dissipate.

After I received a fine for my protest activities, many of my acquaintances told me that they or their friends too were given fines, some less, some the same. I’ve read in the news about numerous detentions and quietly congratulated myself on being quite lucky compared to their stories.

As I recall everything now, it was wonderful to be on vacation and walk around the city in a red sleeveless shirt and my favorite white linen shorts. Not afraid that you may simply not return home. Not fearing that you will be arrested and beaten (if not raped!). Simply wearing your favorite outfit without giving a second thought that someone will not like it.

In the modern world, why should you be afraid or even think about such things as the color of the T-shirt you are going to wear. Clothing is a way for us to express ourselves and show off our style. I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that someone might think that my red shirt/lipstick/nail polish was "extremist" and terrorize me for this.


Mar 3, 2021
Anonymous (message to the chatbot Telegram)

Please do not publish my story. The woman I was talking about got scared.


Apr 21, 2021
Anonymous (message to the chatbot Telegram)

Since August 2020, every week I have had dreams of violence in my sleep. In dreams, uniformed and non-uniformed men are common participants. Although I “went out” several times, I was never detained. I was lucky. In spite of this, the stories of violence read and absorbed daily feed the imagination as if this has happened - is happening - and will surely happen to you.

I am scared to live in Belarus. I constantly keep thinking: “What if they stop me and check my phone? What if they search my apartment? "You sometimes want to move just to feel safe and relax because this stress does not end. You merely exist in anticipation of when you will be able to live a normal life again.


Feb 20, 2021
Anna (message to the chatbot Telegram)

How is it that a bunch of people, led by a real villain, make so many people miserable? ... I have always felt injustice acutely, empathizing with someone else's misfortune... As of now, life in our country, daily news from the courts is hell on earth for people like me. Although I have been feeling deeply unhappy since August 2020, there are many positive things in my life (I have an 8-month-old baby, and watching him, seeing his smile, and hearing his babbling is such a joy). Probably only he protects me from being detained since it is difficult to go on marches with a stroller. However, terror, injustice, lawlessness cannot be escaped. I'm not sure what sedatives to drink because all of this causes physical pain already. Anger leads to depression and apathy. In addition to this, there is also the realization that if you give up, all this suffering and torment will be in vain. To give up is to agree to live in slavery and lawlessness with a completely immoral person ruling over you. As of now, I do not see a way out... Unless light defeats darkness, evil will prevail... and it’s a terrible thing to happen.